The Stay At Home Nurse

IMG_9667

 

My tattoo is moon 🌙 phases. It represents the phases of life I have gone through and will continue to go through. I never expected the first year of  motherhood phase to be filled with fear and guilt. Fear for my new baby living in a pandemic, and guilt for being a SAHM (stay at home mom) instead of a Nurse. I’m so extremely grateful to be in my position but I’ve been a nurse my entire adult life. It has been my calling from a very early age. To be at home while my fellow nurses and friends are risking theirs and their family’s lives is a weird place to be. I worry about them daily, and I send up prayers for their safety. I’m doing my part by staying at home which isn’t a hard burden to bare – but I would be lying if I said a part of me didn’t want to be in the thick of it helping people like I have for 15+years. Being a mother is obviously my priority…. but I will always be a nurse. Bedside nursing is where I spent most of the hours of my life. I spent more time at work than I did at home. I am so grateful to those of you doing all you can in the middle of this MESS. You are hero’s everyday, but you all deserve medals and for sure more pay during all of this. I hope the world is paying attention to how the healthcare world is stepping up. I haven’t seen one healthcare worker complaining about working but I have seen A LOT of people complaining about not being able to do whatever they want. Nursing is a CALLING. It has to be. It’s a calling because if you aren’t in it for the right reasons, if you don’t have the heart….when the shit hits the fan like it is right now ; you would break. Nursing isn’t for the faint of heart. Only the strongest can get up, kiss their little boy goodbye knowing they may come home sick, or bring sickness home to their loved ones. Knowing that there is a chance they could die and leave their family behind. Only a truly strong person can know all of this and  then still walk out the door and take care of strangers. Strangers that are yelling at them for things that are beyond their control, and for SURE not their fault. Going without food, water,  or bathroom breaks. Crying for the ones they lose, and thanking God for the ones that make it. That is in me. And believe me when I say if there comes a time where I have to go help, I will go and I will go without a fuss. I know I am focusing on nursing, but that’s because I am one. That doesn’t mean I don’t know how the healthcare world is run. It is a body. It only works with all of the parts. Housekeeping, laundry, dietary, doctors, RT, PT, OT, CNA, PCT, phlebotomist, X-Ray techs etc. Every single moving part has to come together to be able to do what needs to be done. I am grateful for all of you. Thank you. You won’t get told that enough times. But that’s not why you do what you do. You don’t do it for the thank you. You do it, because you are a Hero.

IMG_9695

«

»

5 COMMENTS

  • Toni

    Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. Don’t feel so bad about being one. We’re expected to do Mom and career as women, and frankly, I think that’s ridiculous. Anyone who is able should stay home as long as possible with their little one. It makes a huge, huge, huge difference in your child’s life. I’ve seen kids raised by day care workers and kids raised by Mom… guess who’s better at it every time? It’s heartbreaking to me, to be honest, seeing babies away from Mom when they don’t have to be. I gave up everything to be with my daughter, trust me, it’s right. No matter what.

  • vernon crow

    Please stay home we need you healthy and taking care of those 2 will require all you have.

  • Jan

    This post hits home for me. My daughter is an RN who is working through this pandemic. Coming home after each shift to her daughter (5), son (2) and husband with the thought of being exposed to Covid scares the life out of her. She’s caught between wanting to stay home and needing to be at the hospital where so many nurses are begging for help. She sees her colleagues falling sick – scary as hell…..but she feels the call to be there. As you said, nursing is in her blood. So for now, she goes to work. Thank you for this post. Neisha, you do what is right for you. Stay safe, smooch your family and send some of your sunshine to Canada please!

  • Shannon

    I can relate to this. Thank you for sharing. I am a “stay at home nurse” as well. I have a seven year old and five year old that I stay home and care for and homeschool as well. I have a little less guilt because I am immunocompromised (metastatic cancer), but I still feel a little of that pull.

  • Velda Solomon

    Well said! I too took the call, Dad said I was 3 when I said I wanted to be a nurse. By 14 I was a candy striper at the local hospital. By 22 I had my BSN and was In a Navy Nurses uniform. Now at 71 and long retired, I so respect all those on the front lines and yes feel a pang of guilt that I’m not there.

Leave a Reply