My tattoo is moon 🌙 phases. It represents the phases of life I have gone through and will continue to go through. I never expected the first year of motherhood phase to be filled with fear and guilt. Fear for my new baby living in a pandemic, and guilt for being a SAHM (stay at home mom) instead of a Nurse. I’m so extremely grateful to be in my position but I’ve been a nurse my entire adult life. It has been my calling from a very early age. To be at home while my fellow nurses and friends are risking theirs and their family’s lives is a weird place to be. I worry about them daily, and I send up prayers for their safety. I’m doing my part by staying at home which isn’t a hard burden to bare – but I would be lying if I said a part of me didn’t want to be in the thick of it helping people like I have for 15+years. Being a mother is obviously my priority…. but I will always be a nurse. Bedside nursing is where I spent most of the hours of my life. I spent more time at work than I did at home. I am so grateful to those of you doing all you can in the middle of this MESS. You are hero’s everyday, but you all deserve medals and for sure more pay during all of this. I hope the world is paying attention to how the healthcare world is stepping up. I haven’t seen one healthcare worker complaining about working but I have seen A LOT of people complaining about not being able to do whatever they want. Nursing is a CALLING. It has to be. It’s a calling because if you aren’t in it for the right reasons, if you don’t have the heart….when the shit hits the fan like it is right now ; you would break. Nursing isn’t for the faint of heart. Only the strongest can get up, kiss their little boy goodbye knowing they may come home sick, or bring sickness home to their loved ones. Knowing that there is a chance they could die and leave their family behind. Only a truly strong person can know all of this and then still walk out the door and take care of strangers. Strangers that are yelling at them for things that are beyond their control, and for SURE not their fault. Going without food, water, or bathroom breaks. Crying for the ones they lose, and thanking God for the ones that make it. That is in me. And believe me when I say if there comes a time where I have to go help, I will go and I will go without a fuss. I know I am focusing on nursing, but that’s because I am one. That doesn’t mean I don’t know how the healthcare world is run. It is a body. It only works with all of the parts. Housekeeping, laundry, dietary, doctors, RT, PT, OT, CNA, PCT, phlebotomist, X-Ray techs etc. Every single moving part has to come together to be able to do what needs to be done. I am grateful for all of you. Thank you. You won’t get told that enough times. But that’s not why you do what you do. You don’t do it for the thank you. You do it, because you are a Hero.