4 years ago I graduated from RN school. Only those who have been through this understand the literal blood sweat and tears that have been paid to achieve it. It’s something that has to be EARNED. It was my dream – it was what I had always wanted. I was a career oriented independent women who never wanted to have to depend on anyone but myself !!!!
I started out as a CNA when I was 19, then became an LPN, and for 7 years I worked and saved so I could someday go back and get my RN without having to go into debt with student loans. I also had to be actively taking classes to bring up my GPA bc of mistakes I had made early on in college. I had to take my ACT 4 times so could get it up to what would give me the most points in the admission application to boost my chance of getting into the extremely competitive program I was applying too. I got in. And what followed was one of the hardest years of my life. I was sick with Hashimotos and had no idea. I just knew I was not myself. I had no energy, I had no drive, I wanted to quit, and I was newly engaged and we didn’t like each other very much. Nursing school is very trying on a good relationship, but for one that was in trouble from me being sick and not caring about anything…(including him) it was even rougher. I don’t know how we made it but we did. Fast forward and I’m a completely different person than I was. I’m healthy, my relationship is one I didn’t know I could have. And that degree is still a huge part of my life and my story.
But now, I’m in for another graduation. The graduation from a person who lives for herself to one who lives for her child. Graduating into motherhood will trump nursing school 1000 times over. Giving up being a floor nurse, who I WAS, was hard but it’s what we decide I needed to do to make sure my health was what it needed to be to get pregnant and have a happy healthy stress free pregnancy. I never thought I would want to be a full time stay at home mom but I’ve learned a lot in the past few years. The people I worked with were wonderful, and I love them dearly, but they aren’t my family. They have family. They have children and husbands of their own. Everyone is different and have different paths to happiness. I’m more surprised that anyone that if I had to sell a kidney to be able to stay home with this baby… I would. Funny how dreams change. Funny how goals change. Chase what you want and be honest with yourself about what you REALLY want and what you feel really matters. You never know how it will change your world.