An Open Letter To 33

So, today is my 34th birthday. 33 was a big one. Huge. So many life changes and I just wanted to sit down and actually reflect on how I have changed as a person. Because, lemme tell ya, I have. Not only have I changed from who I was last year, but honestly how I have changed in the last 10. So here we GO!! An open letter to the year that defined me.

Dear 33, these are just a few of the things that you changed in me :

  1. Friends — What has changed in the last 10 years and last one year are pretty much the same. I have so many wonderful strong women friends. I am so blessed. I use to be that ” I don’t have girl friends, I just don’t get along with girls”person. No. Bullshit. I just didn’t WANT to have girl friends. Ya know why? Because I was not interested in putting in the work. Being an adult and having friends takes effort. It’s a two way street too. I didn’t pick good friends because I was in a bad place in my life and I knew REAL friends would show me the changes I needed to make. ( I did have a few real friends, one who has been my bff since we were basically born but she knows me well enough to know I wasn’t going to listen to good advice i.e. : that dude is TOXIC – cue the Britney music) But here I am at 34 and literally ALL of my friends are women. And not just a few, no I have a CIRCLE of strong, powerful, loving, passionate, hard working women. Fellow nurses, bloggers, & keto family. I can’t believe I missed out on having a girl gang most of my life. Lots of people can say “girls are just mean and I’m not into the drama”. Yea, girls…. GIRLS are. Real well adjusted ADULT women, don’t give a crap about any of that because they are busy raising beautiful children, or building an EMPIRE, or just ya know, having a life outside of giving a crap about anyones business but their own. Find you some of those women, make relationships and work on them. Be open when you have issues, and be loving when you know someone is going though trials. Be there for the long haul and you will be rewarded. I have friends from every walk of life and every age. I learn from them. I listen to the wisdom they give me and I hope that I can give them back a small percentage of what they have given to me.

2. Self-Awareness and AMBITION and being “Mules in Horse harnesses”

self-a·ware·ness/ˈˌself əˈwernəs/noun

conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.

am·bi·tion/amˈbiSH(ə)n/noun

  1. a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.

Basically BE FREAKIN HONEST WITH YOUR DANG SELF!! Know your flaws, know your strengths. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. I have become so self-aware, and with that has come FREEDOM. Freedom to be unapologetically 100% authentically ME. I have no problems telling you anything about me, my past or my present. Ugly parts, pretty parts, boring parts, even unbecoming parts. I don’t care. I am not here to get 200k people to follow me because they think I am perfect but if they met me in public would be HORRIFIED. I am not here to make people think I live a perfect life (although it is pretty good right now I have to say). I am not that blogger. I hate that crap on instagram honestly and the minute I let go of trying to be like those girls, my following grew 15K…. so what does that tell you? Perfection is overrated. I don’t do my makeup everyday. I shit my pants after giving birth. My birth was HORRIBLE, I am married to the Rhett Butler scoundrel of my hometown not Prince Charming, ( and I am stoked about that BTW ) I love fancy things. I am materialistic because I never had the money for any of that until I became a nurse. Yea, not when I married Ken. Up until I helped Ken build his online presence he was poor too. Hence that whole “mule in horse harness thing, but I will get to that in a minute. I lived in a trailer growing up and I will do everything in my power to never live in one EVER again. If you know ANYONE who started that way, it is a very common trait to want to go as far as you possibly can and be as successful as you possibly can. I am here to tell you I will work my ass off to help build an Empire that not only provides for my family but gives back to the world as well. You can do both. You don’t have to be an asshole to make a living. I am AMBITIOUS – oh lord, that ugly word. YES, I am ambitious. I want to succeed. I also want to be someone who has made a difference in the world. That’s why I became a nurse in the first place. I want Ken to succeed because so many people have tried to use his past against him when it is his PAST that got him here. No one becomes a great person without first learning lessons by screwing up. That’s why the best pastors have the BEST testimonies. Going through the valley of horrible decisions brings out the BEST in real men and women. He is not my MONEY. He had basically nothing but baggage when I met him. I married him because I saw what others didn’t. He literally was a diamond in the rough. Married 3 previous times, with 4 kids, add all that child support, court fees and alimony up…There was nothing left for “us”. But I was an RN and I made my own money. I had no debt and was free to spend my money as I pleased. I earned that money by working hard in the best job I ever had and using a lot of Dave Ramseys methods (envelopes are gold). I was never happy where I was, I was driven for both of us to be more than people thought we could be. I convinced him he could do so much good through social media and that we could earn money from YouTube to pay off debt and gain financial freedom. He didn’t believe me, but 1 million subscribers later…. he does. YouTube pays our bills. I know you aren’t supposed to talk about money but I want people to know that if you have a passion for something, freakin do it!! Don’t let anyone keep you from doing something that will better your life. Haters gonna hate. I don’t like Taylor Swift but she got that one right. Self-awareness means knowing WHAT YOU WANT and being unapologetic about it. You want to be an author? A singer? An Artist? We live in the best time ever to be able to succeed in doing anything you want, AND make a living. No one can even use the victim excuse anymore. “It must be nice?” “Wish I could afford that.” You want it? Get your butt UP and WORK!! I wanted to be a BOSS. And baby, I am. Neither of us needed a degree to start a blog or a YouTube channel. YouTube is full of people who didn’t even go to college…. NO EXCUSES. THERE ARE NONE. It’s all about hustle. Oh yea, and I am the CEO of Petty.

3. Mom — I say I became a mom this year but that isn’t true. I do have 4 step-children whom I love. I truly became a mom when Morgan moved in with us a few years ago. She is mine even though I didn’t give birth to her. I hope she knows how much she means to me for so many reasons, but also because she gave me something most mom’s don’t get. She prepped me for Beckett. She is a huge pain in my ass but I love her more than anything. But still, having a baby come from your body is the biggest change of all. Last year on the day after my birthday, I took the final step in my IVF journey. I had the one and only embryo we had, placed with love and care inside of me. We prayed that the timing was right, and on Valentines day… I finally saw something most people take for granted. Two pink lines. In that moment my entire life changed. I saw him running around in our living-room, playing with our dogs, calling me “momma”. Running around in our backyard playing with the goats and pigs and standing under the trees where we got married. I carried that precious cargo though the worst year of my life. I went through the darkest depression I have ever known and thought things no pregnant woman should ever think about. I considered unspeakable things to end the emotional pain. I finally made it through to my labor… and experienced the worst physical pain of my life AFTER having him. Traumatic birth and excruciating recovery were not what I had planned for but honestly that’s the story of my life. My son taught me more in the 9 months he was inside me than I can ever explain to anyone. He saved my life. He gave me hope when I had none and gave me joy when all I felt was sorrow. He was there when no one was. He was there in the dark when I cried silently beside my husband who was also grieving and under stress. He kicked to remind me he was there and that he loved me. He pushed into my ribs to tell me I was never alone even when I thought I was. I know he will continue to teach me things and mold me into a better person. I will grow as he grows. I will learn as he learns. I will fail and so will he. We are a team. I can only hope to give him what he has already given me.

Tenacity : I am truly grateful for what this past year handed me. I don’t think anything will ever scare me again. I have a strength in me now that I never had. I have a will to survive and thrive. I wake up with a grateful heart everyday and take NOTHING for granted. I have purpose and more than that I have JOY. True joy. I understand that it’s not where you are planted, it’s how you grow that matters. I know I will look back at this blog in 10 years and laugh and cry. But I hope future me remembers that our life started this year. I don’t even remember anything before right now. It’s like it was all a dream. It happened to someone else in another life, in another place. Dear Future Me, 33 shaped you. And for that it is by far, my BEST YEAR ever. Thank you world, for dealing me that shit storm that was 33. I am forever thankful.

Love,

Me

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40 COMMENTS

  • Peggy

    Happy Birthday ❤
    You go girl you got this!!!

    • Margie Ellis

      Thanks for sharing your story and for sharing your lives with us….Happy Birthday! And, thank you and Dr. Berry for all you do.

  • Vicki

    So honest! Happy birthday! I have a big one this week too! Thursday, Feb. 6th, turn 62! I retired at the end if June and am enjoying life again!!!

  • Kim

    You deserve happiness and health..happy birthday!

  • Melissa Strangio

    Happy Birthday!!!

  • Sharon tollin

    Happy Bithday, have a good one!

  • Tammy

    Awesome! You moved forward and succeeded! Happy Birthday!

  • Dorothy Dillon

    Happy Birthday Neisha! LV u mean it. Beautifully said❤️

  • Happy Birthday, Neisha. I am proud you “Friend”.

  • Julie

    Happy Birthday Neisha 🎈I love your story 💜 all the unpredictables only makes us stronger.

  • Terri

    Thank you for being so transparent! You are in inspiration to many!

  • Zita B

    Absolutely Beautiful ! Sitting here like a big mama baby with tears !! So happy for you Neisha~may this year be even more 💗

  • Susan Klaus

    Happy Birthday you are a great inspiration

  • Keto Nana Erin B

    You are MIGHTY, you are STRONG, you are POWERFUL, you are LOVED, YOU ARE NEISHA ‼️

    Happy birthday and many more blessings!!!💕

  • Maria

    Your are beautiful inside and out! Happy Birthday!

  • Mae Pelletier

    Happy Birthday 🥳

  • Lola Longyhore

    Very open and inspirational. 🙂 I am 68 and still raising a 23 year old nephew who was diagnosed with autism at age 3. He is doing well and my husband and I together have worked to get him out there as a motivaltional speaker. He has taught me a lot but I also need to pull out more tanacity to help him have an income so when it is my turn to leave this world he will be okay. My sister his Mom took her life in 2015 his Dad took a path that led him to jail a couple times. My husband 78 and I are determined and I am hoping we may also find a way with youtube that he will be able to continue growing. Take a look at his website Neisha. Thank you for the kick I feel it is a boost. http://www.jesselhorn.com

  • Liz Terrazas Raimo

    Happy 34.. May this year bring MORE love and joy.. May you be blessed beyond your desires and continue to grow and be a blessing to so many with your honesty, wit and loving charm. Your Faith and focus on the Lord will continue to guide you as a woman, wife and mom.. God Bless you.. May your celebrations be magical..Liz Terrazas Raimo

  • Lisa Hayes

    I ❤️ this!!! Happiest of birthdays to you Neisha!

  • Carol Choukalaas

    Thanks so much for being so transparent! I am 61 and it took me many years for God to get me there. Enjoy the journey! It is a beautiful one! Happy, happy birthday!

  • Carol Denman

    Happy Birthday Neisha. You’ve got the best gift ever right there in your arms🤗I’m so happy that you rose up from all the turmoil of last year! You not only rose up but you became stronger! You make a difference in this world! You are strong,you inspire and we love you and your family! Rock this year sweetheart with a baby on your hip! 😉

  • Debbie

    Happy Birthday!

  • Charlene Sellers

    Beautiful story of your life ! Thank you for sharing . Now go continue your beautiful journey and ENJOY!!

  • Linda Keener

    Amazing words and so very encouraging. Thank you for sharing. Happy Birthday and buckle up it is just going to get better!! Bless you!

  • Michele

    Holy crap! That was amazing. I feel like you have inprired anyone who reads this to get Up and do you, no judgements! I love your realness, I love your determination and most of all I love your petty! Happy birthday to one Aquarius to another my friend! Many Blessings for you and your beautiful family❤

  • DeNeice

    Happy Birthday, Neisha!! May 34 been blessed beyond your wildest dreams! ❤️

    • Rosa Castano

      Loved your story! Truly inspiring! Thank you for keeping it REAL!!

  • Iary Lee

    Neisha , HAPPY AND BLESSED BIRTHDAY BELLA!!! 🎊🧁🎉 Never ever change. We love your transparency. What a beautiful soul you are.

    Feliz Cumpleaños!

  • Cheryle

    Happy birthday! Your story made my heart swell with love and joy! I have to say that you and Dr. Berry are the most authentic keto couple. Almost all of the top keto people are riding the coattails of keto and jumping on the endorsement for profits bandwagon (Evolve, ButcherBox, pillows….you name it, let’s promote it!) Ken has Patreon supporters. And it doesn’t matter to him if it is $3 a month or $100 a month, because he KNOWS he is getting his message out there to his people, his supporters and followers. The $3 someone spends means that person is getting all of the tools he or she needs to change their life. You both are amazing! You compliment each other and provide US so much support. Thank you all you do! Happy, healthy birthday!

    • neishalovesit
      AUTHOR

      Thank you so much for the support! It means the world to us both!

  • Lesley Parent

    Wow! I love how honest you are. I wish you the happiest of all birthdays!

  • Trish

    Neisha , Have a Blessed Birthday and Wonderful Year!
    Thank you for sharing !!! God Bless and keep on keeping on !!!!!

  • Leticia Guthrie Worthington

    Happy Birthday Neisha! You and Dr. Berry have both inspired me so much! I have truly enjoyed following along on your pregnancy journey, birth and new motherhood experiences. I have three grown children and when my own daughter started having fertility problems your story really resonated with me. She had her IVF on the day before her 30th birthday and I am so very happy that I will finally have a granddaughter in June! My other daughter moved to Mt. Juliet in December so I feel so many connections with you guys. You are so down to earth and a southern girl that tells it like it is! May your 34th year be every bit as blessed and wonderful! ♥♥♥

  • Faye

    Happy birthday Neisha I love your honesty and how you inspire so many people keep up the good work

  • Vjollca

    You made me laugh and cry and love you as if we were best friends, although we have never met. Happy Birthday to you! May you have all the riches of the world because you deserve them! You’re amazing!

  • Kathy Gardner

    What a great testimony! Happy Birthday to you!

  • Sue

    Beautiful sentiments from a beautiful soul.
    Happy, happy birthday, Neisha!

  • Lababy79

    Happy & blessed birthday!
    Thank you x 100!

  • lisabitta

    Happy, happy Birthday Neisha!! I’m in tears after reading your post because I can relate so well, the no girlfriends thing.. yep… You stated you wanted to make a difference….this post alone helped me with a mega dose of encouragement and to “keep up the good fight”.. Life is hard, and yes, we do have to work like mules, but eventually you do reap the rewards. You have a heart of gold, thank you for sharing your life, your husband (!) with us. With hugs, prayers and much appreciation

    • neishalovesit
      AUTHOR

      Thank you so much for reading ! It means a lot to me.

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